Finding grace in the unknown

I knew something was wrong when a nurse from Omaha Children's called this morning asking for contact information for Meg's neurosurgeons.

I sat on the floor with my head in my hands for the rest of the conversation. Hearing something was wrong with the scan, the radiologist didn't know what an area was, and no one really knew what to do. They were going to send the scan to Houston to see if the surgeon has any ideas.

After the nurse apologized and hung up, I still sat there. Wondering if God knows how tired I am, and if He understands hardships and stress are best spread out...not piled on. Maybe it was my tired aching body, or the weight in my heart, but it was hard to get up and go on.

Since Meg was running a fever, we went back to Children's in Omaha. On the drive I prayed for Meg's healing, and tried to convince God he wants joyful, energetic, Christians...not tired, crabby ones, looking like death. I also wondered, if my frustration and disappointment is because I should be seeking The Comforter, and not so much comfort from this life. I'm a girl who wants it all, when it's not all to be had. At least not here, not now.

While no one knows why the images are the way they are, and what's going on, I'm thankful God does. It's awesome He has the whole world in His hands, but it's even more so that he cares enough to have Meg's life, my life, all our lives in His hands.

For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.     Isaiah 41:13