Finding Endurance on Crazy Hard DaysLife can be crazy hard and frustrating. Meg fell to the floor crying, asking me what’s wrong with her and why can’t we fix it. I kneeled next to her, wishing as much as she did for answers. As she reaches her breaking point, it causes me to become aware of mine closing in.
 
As I watch time tick by, I’m aware of how long it’s been since her breathing has become labored and I can hear her across a room. I know how long ago her last breakdown was and how long it lasted. I’m aware of the high brain pressure symptoms she has shown today, the severity of each, and how long they took before receding. In the back of my mind, there’s a list of things I need to grab, calls I need to make, and what I need to do if we have to leave town. When the next moment can change the entire course of weeks, there is never a shortage of things to consider.
 
Then there are times I look at her and wonder how all this could be. Hearing a cute little quip, or watching her smile, makes me want to freeze time and enjoy the normalcy. But time ticks by and once again we're faced with reality.
 
It’s not power, strength, or stamina pulling me from my bed each morning. It’s duty and responsibility. It’s knowing there is a purpose and every day, whether it will be spent with more tears than laughter, is where God has brought us.


I’m reminded we’re to rejoice and to be glad today, and every day, because God has made it. On the days it feels as though it’s the hardest thing to do, in a way it’s never been easier. Thank God, he’s in today. Thank God every moment we’re hanging on, brings us closer to Him. Thank God, he doesn’t leave.

Maybe the biggest witness of God’s love, isn’t when all works out miraculously (although I certainly don’t mind when it does). Maybe it’s when it doesn’t. When life gets worse instead of better. When we come so close, yet fall so far. When we see with our own eyes, He’s working to conform us to be Christ-like, and unlike this world.

I know I will never see a child with a scar across their head, and just wonder what happened. The sight will break my heart. I’ll remember these days and all they entail. I’ll remember the disappointments and sleepless nights, the crying and pain, and the sense of peace coming only with prayer. I will feel the weight of their heart on my own, and be reminded it’s how Jesus bears our pain.

Knowing this, doesn’t change circumstances, but it does give us a reason to keep going strong. Endurance has no charm or allure. Yet perhaps, it's the most powerful attribute in becoming who we’re called to be.

For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.     Romans 8:29