Meg seemed to hold up over the holidays but there were times when she had enough. When she was done, she was done.
With 7 kids under 9 running around, I felt the same. The ecstatic chaos quickly drains every adult within hearing distance. Considering it is always a matter of time before someone screams, or cries they're hurt; there are no refuges.
As we sat down to eat I wondered who'd spill their glass first, who'd lead the revolt against the meal, and how long inside voices could be maintained.
Looking across the table at Meg, I saw how easy it is to overlook what we have when chaos demands our attention and busyness clouds our sight.
We are so lucky to love, and be loved.
I always seem to fail at seeing the goodness surrounding me until it's affected or taken. I live assuming things will always be the way they are, and we will just grow older. But it's not how life works and eventually we all answer the call that changes everything.
As we bowed our heads to pray I thought about how badly I don’t want those calls to come.
I don’t want them to disrupt my life. I don’t want my loved ones to hurt. I don’t want our family to face more struggles. There’s nothing worse than watching suffering.
Just as we anticipated one of the kids crying - those calls will surely come. It’s always a matter of time. There’s no immunity. Every time I fear what the future holds, I realize I’m failing to remember God’s goodness will be there too. Perfect love casts out fear, and we are all perfectly loved.